Quick Heads-Up…and Apologies
Just a quick note to update on last night’s maniacial rant. I am back to ‘normal’ this morning. Still fucked up but not completely off my head.
Disappointed in myself for cutting – A has been very supportive and nice this morning but is also very angry with me for doing it. He also feels guilty for not being about to stop me, but he shouldn’t; I would only have psychotically done it in front of him and wrestled with him for the stupid bloody knife anyway. It is not his fault.
I was also so touched by supportive messages on Twitter – thank you folks. You are all brilliant. I am disgusted with myself for upsetting and worrying these lovely people, but as I say, I am touched so strongly by their kindness and support. Perhaps I need to re-evaluate some of my misanthropy.
I’m also sorry to any non-Twitter readers of this blog if I upset or concerned you.
I am OK today, really. I will write more when I am able about the possible causes of last night’s disaster, about C session etc. But I’m out for the day now, and in any case the wireless network is fucked, so can’t write from my laptop (this is written over 3G from WordPress iPhone app).
I’m attaching a photo of my right arm from last night. I am really, really sorry if this disturbs or upsets anyone, but I think it’s important for my own sake to add it, for a twisted “posterity” and hopefully to discourage me from doing it again.
Sorry again, but thank you all so so much.
This entry was posted on Friday, 15 May, 2009 at 11:41 am and is filed under Moods with tags anxiety, bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, bpd, clinical depression, cutting, depression, insanity, insomnia, madness, major depressive disorder, mania, manic depression, mental health, mentalhealth, panic, panic attack, psychiatry, psychology, sadness, self harm, social anxiety. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.